come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
