im drinking this country out of the recession.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
