Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
