when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
