And the cops told us we were all naked.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
