so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
