Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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