omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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