My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
