I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
