just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
