Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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