Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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