guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
its liver damage thursday
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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