There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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