She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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