Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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