I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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