all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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