Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
