You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
