Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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