Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
