He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
