Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
