Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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