I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
