Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
