i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
