No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
