coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so much tequila, so little girl.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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