This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
