im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
