so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
