i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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