the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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