Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
