i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
