i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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