Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize
