You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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