i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can't motorboat a personality
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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