Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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