THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
