Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
