I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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