The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
