One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
