Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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