Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
